There’s no disguising it. I have one of the coolest jobs on the planet. Working with all kinds of high performance gadgets and go-faster parts is every man’s dream. When gearheads go to sleep at night, they dream about my job. Maintenance is my life and the only thing I ever wanted to do, so you can imagine my angst when the boss told me that I had to write a column. I’m not a writer, and I have twelve different English teachers that can verify that fact. I turn wrenches. That’s my sole purpose in life. I would be much happier to leave the writing to the computer-oriented, pencil-necked geeks that work in the office. Writing doesn’t belong in the arsenal of any mechanic. Reading, maybe. Writing, never.

I do like my job however, so if I am required to write a column, then write a column I will.

This will be a monthly addition to our magazines, so as a reoccurring feature, I guess the best place to start is with an introduction to me and what I do, then an explanation of what kind of content you can expect to see in upcoming episodes of Ferret’s Final Thoughts. Hang on tight, because this ain’t going to be a politically correct love-fest either. This is raw, gritty, and almost uncensored as it gets. I mean, I’m a shop dawg. What are you expecting, Hemingway?

I am Sean, son of a garage mechanic. Needless to say I have been working on cars since I could crawl. I cannot recall a single time in my life that we took our family cars to the mechanic. If there was a problem with a vehicle of ours it was time to get dirty. Come to think of it, I can’t really remember a time when I didn’t have grease stains under my fingernails. I remember as a 6 year old child laying under my dad’s Chevy pickup, supporting the tail shaft of the transmission, ATF running down my arm, because it blew up as we were leaving town for the family vacation. So, our vacation was spent rebuilding the transmission instead. Maybe not a fun holiday unless you are a gearhead like I am; then it becomes an instructional vacation. This is how I was raised – self sufficient and attentive to the smallest detail. After all, when you are working on your own transportation everything has to be perfect or else you are stuck on the side of the road again. This is the mentality I take with every project I take on; attention to detail and the goal of perfection. Granted, there are always mistakes to be made and problems to run into, but it is how you deal with these problems that makes you a success or a failure. I always succeed – it’s how I was made.

I am a 25-year-old graduate of Wyotech with several years of experience in the automotive industry. I have done everything from oil changes to building entire vehicles from the ground up. I have shed blood and tears over many a project throughout my short life span and see no end in sight (not that I would want an end to be in sight). I have found my calling, and you can call it what you want; grease monkey, gearhead, shop dawg, or for you fancy guys, ‘automotive technician,’ because apparently with our politically correct society I can’t just be a mechanic anymore. I prefer, however, to use any of the earlier terms as I feel this keeps me grounded in my roots. In the automotive world I think sticking to your roots is what it’s all about. How many times have you been in a conversation and heard the phrase, ” they just don’t make them like they used to”? Well I’m made like they used to. I just flat-out get the job done right.

Now that you know a little bit about me, let me tell you a little bit about what you can expect from me in this column. As I had mentioned before I am no Hemingway, so it’s a case of ‘better living through lowered expectations.’ I have been given pretty much free reign with this article, so, as you will find, the topics will vary greatly. For instance, in one column you might be reading a tech article for a job that I found particularly interesting. Then the next column might be about how I’m feeling that particular day or maybe just bitching about traffic that morning. However, I will strive to make it interesting and informative. Hopefully, if nothing else is accomplished from this article it will make your day a little better knowing I have problems in my world too. So with any luck, over these next few columns you can get to know more about what goes on in the PowerTV garage and how we do the voodoo that we do here. Well, at least how I do what I do here; mainly just get real dirty and bump my head on stuff. So until I talk to you next time, stay dirty and floor it!