As much as it pains us to do so, we present to you yet another fitting member of our Mangled Monday series. This one we tracked back to an old, inactive website, but it’s made its way through several different forums (mostly in the “Ugliest Corvettes Ever” kind of threads).While the only pictures available are poor quality and seem to be somewhat dated, the feelings of bewilderment while looking at this thing aren’t the least bit dampened. The excruciating detail and lack of symmetry in this poor ‘Vette’s paint-job is enough to give you a migraine. But perhaps the small, blurry photos are a blessing in disguise; staring at this bad boy for too long might induce some sort of hypnotism… or a coma, at least.
Per the webpage we found it on, “This is – [or] used to be – a 1985 Corvette. The owner, who calls himself ‘Buckeye’, says: ‘Women love this car. Every time I stop for gas, women come up to me. I could have as many girlfriends as I want – old ones, fat ones, anything. They’re all over me.'” Of course good ‘ol Buckeye failed to mention what exactly the women had to say to him and his nightmarish C4; we can’t help being a bit skeptical that any women volunteered to be seen in it.From polka-dotted bumper to polka-dotted bumper, it looks like a Jimi Hendrix song threw up all over this Corvette. You have to admit that the intricacy and thoroughness of the theme implementation is somewhat impressive – from what we can see, not one inch of the machine was spared. But the C4 already struggles with the misgiven title as the “ugliest” or “worst” generation ‘Vette and the unfounded stereotypes that their owners aren’t the highest-caliber Corvette-people. Defacing an ’85 with a psychedelic kaleidoscope of shapes and colors is not doing it any favors.